if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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