I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
