Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize