Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
