I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
