marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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