I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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