I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize