idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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