I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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