Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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