i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
