We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
