Dual....:-)
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
