True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
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I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
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You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.