Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
