You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
