worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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