ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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