Barsexuality is the new black.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
