You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
