Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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