Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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