Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
