You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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