some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Sober January is a disaster.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire