I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.