just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"