What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
