told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
