I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
