i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
