I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
