If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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