I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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