YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Dick very happy bro
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
