whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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