I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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