Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
