just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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