He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
