i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
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i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
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And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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