he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
