We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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