I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
