So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
A bitchslap is in order.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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