girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
