my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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