We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
