Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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