I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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