Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
