I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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