that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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