3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Mom said you looked used
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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