I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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