I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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