Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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