ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Drake has all the answers
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
