brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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