What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
