OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
