Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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